Managing expectations to have a good, not necessarily perfect, vacation
Family vacations can be full of fun and memories, but they can also come with stress, unmet expectations, and unexpected hiccups. The truth is, no trip is perfect. And that’s okay. On a recent vacation, we planned an itinerary that had a little something for everyone. In our minds, we were already counting on the good memories. As luck would have it, our youngest child lost her treasured stuffie at our first stop. We didn’t realize it until we were at our next destination, a 12-hour drive away. That wasn’t in the plan. In the end, we were able to get through it (and even get the stuffie back), but not without a fair amount of anxiety, angst, and worry.
Here are a few simple ways to manage expectations that might help you get more enjoyment out of your time together:
1. Let go of the “perfect trip”
It’s easy to picture everyone smiling on the beach or laughing around the campfire. But kids get cranky, flights get delayed, and not every moment will feel magical. The more you accept that, the more you can enjoy the good times when they happen.
2. Talk about it ahead of time
Set the tone before the trip. Let everyone share what they’re excited about, but also what they might find hard, like long drives, or sharing space. Brainstorm ways to make the things you know might be challenging a little easier. Our kids have treasured things that travel with us, like a blanket, a journal, and that beloved stuffie that found its way back to us after having its own misadventure.
3. Build in downtime
Don’t overbook your days. Consider leaving room for rest, snacks, and a little quiet. Everyone handles travel differently, and downtime helps keep tempers, and expectations, in check. Unstructured downtime gives your family a chance to consider what they would like to do next.
4. Focus on connection, not perfection
The best moments often come when plans change. Try laughing about the mishaps and watching what comes of them. They are often what we remember most.
A mom once told me, “I spent our whole vacation trying to make everyone happy—and came home exhausted.” We worked on shifting her focus from trying to control every detail to simply being present with her family. The next trip wasn’t perfect, but it was a little easier, a little looser, a little more peaceful.