Coping with the loss of a pet

Our family recently lost two pets in quick succession, our beloved black Lab Oliver and a “feral barn cat,” Lucy, that chose us as her forever family, loving our laps more than her freedom. My wife and I raised our children with Oliver and Lucy, relying on them to provide comfort and unconditional love to our growing children, through the bumps and bruises of life. Losing them was hard, really hard, much harder than I expected. Losing a pet can be heartbreaking. Pets are more than animals—they’re family, companions, and daily sources of comfort and joy. When they’re gone, the grief is real and deep.

It’s okay to mourn your pet fully and without apology. Here are a few ideas for caring for yourself during this challenging time:

1. Let yourself grieve

There’s no “right” way to feel after losing a pet. You might feel sadness, guilt, anger, or even numbness. All of it is valid. Give yourself permission to feel it.

2. Create a ritual, memorial, or dedicated space

Lighting a candle, planting a tree, or creating a photo album can help honor your pet’s life and the significance of that relationship to your, your family, or your children. Our family processed the grief of losing our pets by making a space to remember them with a pawprint saved in clay, a tile with a picture on it, and a few mementos.

3. Talk about It

Share stories and memories with someone who understands. Talking helps keep the connection alive, eases the loneliness, and helps us remember to lean into our emotions.

4. Be gentle with yourself

Grief takes time. If daily life feels harder than usual, that’s normal. Rest. Ask for support. Don’t rush your healing.

Pets give us unconditional love—and losing that support can ache. If you're struggling, therapy can help you navigate this tender loss. You don’t have to go through it alone.